隱形貧困、積極廢人、口頭胖子、野生KOL，這些突然流行的新人設，你是哪一種？

突然有個新詞火了，那就是「積極廢人」。

該詞最早出自微信公眾號「一條」的一篇原創文章，文章的標題為「那麼愛立flag，你一定是積極廢人吧!」，該文章引起了大家的廣泛關注，網友們紛紛表示躺著也中槍。

An active loser is someone who loves setting goals publicly but can never achieve them. These people are mentally active and aspirant but acting totally as losers do in practical terms. They usually start to panic after their intermittent indulgences and often feel guilty for being so lazy.

打擊面很廣嘛。

這都是有夢想、有野心的人啊。

是不是沁人心脾？短短4個字的概括力簡直不要太強大。

而除了積極廢人以外，這幾個月冒出來的新人設還真不少，來看看你見過幾種吧：

lā tā jié pì

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釋義：是指人前乾淨整潔像是有潔癖，人後卻邋遢隨便的人。

人前乾淨整潔又精緻。男的髮型清爽，白T恤發光，身上還有好聞的肥皂味；女的妝容完美，衣服上沒有一個褶子，還做了法式美甲。但他們家裡通常亂得像戰場，被子是直接堆在床上的，衣服是隨便亂放的；只要不出門，他們可以不洗頭、不洗臉、不刮鬍子。家裡的那道大門對他們來說不是一扇普通的門，而是一個跨越兩個世界的傳送門。

A Messy Mysophobiac is someone who only appears clean and sophisticated in the public. A male one usually has clean-cut hair and wears shiny white T-shirt and gives out a pleasant odour of soap. A female one usually wears perfect makeup and wrinkleless clothes and maybe even French manicure. But you"ll see a total mess if you enter one of them"s home: The quilt would be just thrown on the bed. The clothes would be scattered all around. As long as they don"t go out, they can skip washing hair, washing face and shaving. The front door of the house is not an ordinary door for them. It"s a portal between two worlds.

釋義：指有些人看起來每天有吃有喝但實際上非常窮，更多是自我消費不節製所造成的——不是沒有錢，只是花得多而已。

這些人看起來每天有吃有喝有玩，生活品質還挺高，但實際上非常貧窮。他們花30塊喝一杯咖啡，他們花300塊去網紅餐廳打卡，他們花500塊買一件精品復古白T恤，他們花工資的一半租CBD旁邊的房子；他們的生活看起來非常富足，但他們每個月的帳戶餘額都清零。

The Invisibly Poor is those who appear to have a fantastic and high-quality life but actually are very poor. They spend 30 RMB for a cup of coffee, 300 for a chance to publicly announce they went to an Internet-famous go-to restaurant, 500 for a plain white vintage T-shirt, half of their monthly income for the rent of an apartment beside a CBD. It seems like their life are really affluent. But every month, the numbers on their balance sheets return to zeros.

yě shēng tuō

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釋義：就是野生意見領袖。這些人喜歡在自己的微博或者朋友圈推銷好玩好吃好物好活動，但並不是真正的賣家，義務承擔著公關的作用。

他們是朋友圈的野生廣告人，隻不過是不賺廣告費的那種。他們每天都在推薦各種品質良莠不齊的食品、餐廳、服裝、活動、旅遊目的地，為朋友們的消費更新操碎了心，其活躍程度令人膽寒。這些人絕對是這個商業社會的脊樑。

A Spontaneous Key Opinion Leader is a spontaneous advertising agent in your social network. They are not the kind that charge fees for the advertisements. They just spontaneously recommend all kinds of food, restaurants, fashion items, activities and travel destinations of quality which varies unstably in a wide range, day by day. They go out of their way to help their friends accomplish their consumption upgrade. Their enthusiasm can scare the hell out of you. No doubt, they are the backbones of this commercial society.

釋義：指的是什麼都略懂一些的人，喜歡滔滔不絕說出自己掌握的知識點，而不管別人是不是想聽。

他們似乎什麼都懂一點，並且迫切地想讓大家都知道他們懂一點。別人的談話如果涉及到他們知道的名詞，他們就會非常積極地插入對話並發表自己的觀點，並且他們並不在乎別人是不是想知道他們說的這些東西。

A Mr. Know-A-Bit is someone who seems to know a bit about everything and so eagerly wants everybody to know that they know a bit about it. Every time they overhear someone pronouncing a noun which they know a bit, they』ll actively step in the conversation and express their own opinions without caring about whether the others want to know what they』re talking about or not.

suí biàn nǚ shì

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釋義：指的是口頭隨和，什麼都可以「隨便」，但實際上比較挑剔和專權的女人。

她們的口頭禪是「隨便」、「都可以」，看起來好像把選擇權都交給了你，但實際上你必須選到她們滿意。

A 『You Decide』 Lady is someone who always tells you 『You decide.』 or 『Anything can do.』 It seems like they give you the liberty to make choices for them. But in fact you have to make a choice that they find OK.

wò dǐ fù háo

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釋義：這些人成功地混跡在貧困人口當中，有時候還跟著一起哭窮，對各種窮人的自嘲段子了如指掌。不過他們卻常常在一些小物件不小心露富，說不定在帝都還有兩套房。這些人是隱形的人生贏家，他們就是以前上學時那種喊著「沒複習好」卻考了第一的人。

An Undercover Millionaire is a rich person who successfully blend in the poor and sometimes complain about how poor they are along with the real poor guys around them. But they often accidentally reveal their true financial status through some little items. You may even accidentally find that someone of them actually has two properties near subway stations in a city like Hangzhou. These are the invisible true winners. They used to be those kids in school who complained that they hadn』t prepared well for the exam but turned out to be the No. 1 in the rank afterward.

kǒu tóu pàng zi

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釋義：就是那些總是宣稱又胖了，但其實不胖的人。這種也就是所謂的「幻胖」綜合症。他們時長在抱怨自己的食慾，同時還會強調自己是吃貨，並且還經常說自己得減肥了。但他們其實並不胖，甚至還很瘦。

大家身邊一定會有這樣的人，我們一起重溫一下他們當時說話的口吻：

「愁死了，最近又胖了，什麼時候才能減到90斤啊…」

「神煩！一天不健身，腹肌都要變沒了！」

「哪有，這張自拍難看死了！雙下巴都出來了……」

A Self-Claimed Fatty is someone who often complains about their own appetite and call themselves foodies. And they often announce that they really need to start losing some weight. But they are not actually fat. Some of them are even pretty skinny.

jī ròu bó shì

釋義：指既有高智商又熱衷健身的人。這類人往往在各方面都做得很出色，專業和愛好都能做到極致。

肌肉博士可能沒有肌肉，也可能並不是博士，這只是一個統稱。它指的是那種把自己的愛好精進到極致，以至於與自己外表的人設嚴重割裂的人。比如她可能是個人淡如菊、話不多的白領小姑娘，但其實在王者榮耀開了3個號，而且3個都上了王者，玩遊戲前會先用微積分計算各個英雄的傷害能力再決定入手哪個英雄。當然，肌肉博士也的確可能是個有博士學位並練出了八塊腹肌和人魚線的單身男子。

A Muscular Doctor may not have much muscle and may not even have a doctoral degree. This is just an umbrella term which refers to those who reached an astonishingly high altitude in their hobbies and consequently have character settings that really look unlikely for their original identities. For example, it can be a little white-collar girl who seems totally not aggressive nor talky but secretly has 3 King-of-Glory accounts which are all in the highest rank. Before she plays a game, she』ll use calculus to calculate the damage capacities of the heroes and then decide which one to choose. And of course, it can also be a single man who owns a doctoral degree and at the same time six-pack and Apollo』s belt.

jīng lǎo yé mer

釋義：這是一幫絕對的直男，他們也刻意維持著直男的形象和穿著，但他們的精緻程度讓絕大多數女人和Gay都汗顏，不光會花大把的精力在穿衣和護膚上，而且還嚴格管理著自己的身材。他們的服裝雖然可能是基本款，但很有可能是花2小時選的；他們可能留著鬍渣，但那鬍渣是精修過的。另外，他們大多單身，因為身邊的女人實在趕不上他們的標準。

A Pro Dude is a straight guy who intentionally maintains a straight-guy appearance and dress code but also maintains a highly sophisticated lifestyle which will make most women and gay guys ashamed of themselves. He not only puts on considerable efforts in personal fashion and skincare, but also manage his own body shape really strictly. That outfit he wears may be a set of basic items, but chances are high that he spent 2 hours selecting them. There are maybe stubble on his face, but actually the stubble are carefully trimmed to be like that. Moreover, they are usually single, because the women around them are totally incapable of reaching these standards.

我的天，現代人的定位可真不少。上面說的這9種新新人類你見過幾種？

這位佛系且喪，又隱形貧困的積極廢人，是否還可以再搶救一下？

想見一下，葛優躺葛先生癱在了沙發上，嘴裡不停嘟囔各種「喪」盡天良的話；

然後念出那首著名詩人所寫的詩：

九零後禿頂了

八零後重新長出了焦慮的頭髮

這一切

與霸王

章光101無關

不是duangduangduang

而是在每一個失眠的夜晚

如同拔節的草

從「喪」，然後「佛系」，再到「隱形貧困」，進而「積極廢人」，從2017到2018，看起來我們並沒有變得好一些，至少在說點兒「喪氣話」，造出些「喪氣詞」這件事上。

一到五四，魯迅先生那句話就會被熱氣騰騰提出來：「願中國青年都擺脫冷氣，只是向上走，不必聽自暴自棄者流的話，能做事的做事，能發聲的發聲，又一分熱，發一分光，就令螢火一般，也可以在黑暗裡發一點光，不必等候炬火。」

坦白講，在南方的夏天，除了沒辦法擺脫冷氣外，魯迅先生這段話總能讓人感到有些沸騰，問題在於，沸騰之後，青年應該乾點什麼？

沸騰過後，大家發現，青年節的半天假期，並沒有放——好喪。算了，有自然好，沒有，也不強求——好佛系。有假又怎樣，兜裡又沒錢——好窮。有半天假？！立下去健身房揮汗如雨的flag，最後卻回到家打開冷氣無所事事，好積極的——廢人。

這樣看來，真的好喪。

那麼，面對這個問題，我好喪，怎麼辦？

我們可以先提一個問題：喪真的不好麽？

事實上，每一代的青年都被如此擔憂過，他們亦如此頹廢過。

尤其是在沒有戰爭，沒有動亂的時代裡，個人不至於完全被時代所裹挾，命運隨風飄蕩，命如草芥一般，這個時候，陷入喪的迷惘之中，是必然的。

在消極或積極的背後，他要回答的其實是，自己存在的意義在哪兒？可以說這是每個人，終其一生，都需要用行動去對這個問題做出解答。

個人的慾望，時代的要求，對還是錯？該與不該？各種觀念眼花繚亂錯綜複雜應接不暇接踵而來，所有這些，既給人帶來了前行的動力與挑戰，同時也帶來無窮的壓力與焦慮。

在我看來，社會應該如同一個容器，寬容地去包容這一切，允許你拚，同時，接納你喪。但是，如果我們過分地去強調所謂積極的「正能量」，去提倡所謂核心的「價值觀」，那麼，問題的另一面就會被壓抑，他就會尋求另一種方式表達出來。比如說喪。

喪與消極，是一種對嚴肅的消解與抵抗。

所以，正能量、價值觀解決不了每個人的問題，是因為「我們不一樣」，每個人的生命意義並不相同，去尊重與包容生命表達方式的豐富性與多樣性，這才是健全的社會所應當提供的價值觀。

對於迷失的人，如果要我提出建議，我建議到菜市場去看看人們怎麼活？到殯儀館去看看人們怎麼死？

尤其是在直接的，殘酷的苦難與折磨似乎已然遠離了我們的和平年代，這兩個地方常常能告訴我們一些答案。

飲食男女裡頭常常蘊含意義，如果這裡沒有，那麼，生離死別裡面會有答案。

在這之前，消極一點，佛系一點，沒有關係，你只是在尋求暫時的安寧，畢竟：我都承認自己是一個廢人了，你還能拿我怎麼樣？

倘若你想作出改變，除非你真正意識到自己其實並不能活太久。