怎樣看待夫妻反目成仇的現象？怎樣讓家庭和睦？

怎樣看待夫妻反目成仇的現象？怎樣讓家庭和睦？

How to treat the phenomenon that husband and wife turned against each other? How to keep the family in harmony?

問：現今社會中，有很多明星夫妻貌合神離，曾經恩愛幸福，最後卻反目成仇，令很多人大喊“不再相信真愛了”，請問上師，我們應該怎樣看待這些無常？又有哪些修行的方法，可以保持夫妻恩愛，家庭和睦？

答：親人也好，仇人也罷，都不是永久性的，今天的親人也許成為明天的仇人；今天的仇人也許成為明天的親人，變化無常，又難以左右。不過，不必大驚小怪，一切緣法的自性本來如是。

曾經恩愛的夫妻若真不想最後反目成仇，就要做到善始善終。其實也都沒什麽，能在一起就好好過，實在不能在一起也不要太執著。在一起或不在一起，都是緣聚緣散嘛！所謂“看庭前花開花落，望天空雲卷雲舒”，倘若能以這份寵辱不驚、去留無意的心態去面對，就自在多了。

兩個人為什麽要在一起？就是為了幸福快樂嘛，若想令這種幸福快樂延續的時間長一些，那就要做到相互忍讓。但是，“忍”不是克制，而是能接受對方的缺點；“讓”不是隨便，而是給對方一個自由的空間。

其實人的一輩子很短暫，很快就會過去的，要惜福惜緣，也要隨緣灑脫。總的來說，在任何情況下都不能缺乏智慧，包括面對夫妻的聚散。無論是明星夫妻還是普通夫妻，道理都是一個。

Question:In nowadays society, there are lots of star couples that seemingly in harmony but actually at variance. They once loved and were happy but turned against each other in the end. It makes many people to shout that“don’t believe the true love anymore”. Please Guru tell how should we think of these impermanence? Is there any way we can practice to keep the couple love each other and the family in harmony?

Guru answers:Neither friends nor enemies are permanent. The present friends can become enemies tomorrow and vice versa. All are constantly changing and hard to control. However, there is no need to fuss, it’s just the self-nature of all phenomena.

If the loving couple really don’t want to become enemies, they have to do well from the start to the end. Actually this is nothing, you treat each other well if you can live together, don’t be too attached if you cannot stay together. Being together or not depends on the karma. The so called “Watch the flowers blossom and wilt in front the porch, view the clouds gather and disperse in the sky”. If you can be indifferent to the honor and humiliation and calmly face the stay and go, you will be free.

Why do people live together? It’s just for happiness. If you are willing to prolong the happiness, there need mutual tolerance. “Tolerance” is not restraint but accepting each other’s shortcomings; “concession” is not casual but to give each other space.

Actually a person’s life is short and will be over soon. So we should cherish fortunes and value karmic connections, as well as follow the karma with a free and easy mind. In general, people should have wisdom in all conditions, including facing the gathering and separating of couples. Whether for the ordinary or star couples, there is the same law.